Home Reno look book :)

 

Whenever I see pretty homes, my heart skips a beat.

Ok fine, many many beats.

It makes me weak in my knees I tell you.

I know more than anything that what makes a home is family. And I would like to start our home with as much barakkah as possible.

(And as little debts lol.)

But.

I’ve endlessly screenshot things on my laptop and phone I thought compiling it in a post makes the most sense. And if a certain someone accidentally sees this, ie. Mr Meow, I want like this please please please I’ll iron all your white shirts for a whole year.

Here goes nothing. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim may Allah bless this dream and make it come true Ammeeeennnnn!

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Colour scheme

 

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Sofa mat salleh empuk empuk kind yang tidur air liur basi keluar tak bangun bangun

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Empuk bed with movable over the bed table to facilitate breakfast (lunch and dinner) in bed.

 

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Floral wall paper for my study room

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Wainscotting, wainscotting, wainscotting

Classic door and window panels

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Blue is such a pretty colour to be in the kitchen ❤

Gold chrome handles are just.. sigh.

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Chairs must be able to slide under the table, plenty of storage at the bottom

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How my kitchen looks like for now

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Grohe stainless steel matte taps, kitchen aid, dyson vacuum

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But..

We plan and Allah plans.

And He indeed is the best planner.

I wouldn’t get married

I don’t think marriage works without God.

And I wouldn’t get married if I didn’t believe in a religion that propagates marriage.

Here’s why.

You see, the concomitant dilemma of modern day marriages is this; people get married for love, to be happy

But they divorce, not because they are not happy, but they could be happier

with someone else, something else

This is what happens when you live in an individualistic society.

We are inherently selfish creatures. Women want from men what men can’t give because they are just not wired the same way and vice versa.

We contradict ourselves with our wants.

In the words of Esther Perel, top marriage counsellor and psychotherapist ,

On one hand, we want security, predictability ,safety, dependability, reliability, permanence. These anchoring grounding experiences in our lives.

But we have an equally strong need for surprise, for adventure, novelty, mystery, risk, the unknown, unexpected.

Reconciling it into one relationship is a contradiction in terms.

We come to one person for the things an entire village used to provide;

give me belonging, give me identity, give me continuity

but give me transcendence, mystery and awe

comfort and edge

novelty and familiarity

predictability and surprise

we think it’s a given and toys and lingerie will save us.

 

 

So why do we get married? Why do we give out a part of ourselves for this institution, commit our lives to another that can’t give what we idealistically want?

Because Allah swt has promised that a woman that takes care of her prayers, protects her chastity and makes her husband happy, will be able to enter jannah from whichever door she chooses.

And that’s enough for me.

If we see only what is in front of us, our struggles and sacrifices without having a clear sight of the end, everlasting goal, the institution of marriage will never work. If we only see our husbands as liabilities, his shortcomings to what he actually provides, our early mornings to prepare breakfasts and our daily responsibilities to keep house while building a career, our marriages will never work.

Theres something greater than all of us.

Have faith.

And Hafizah, time to finish up your assignments :p

 

Choose to stay

They say.. you marry the person that you love.

But we often run for the high hills the moment we fall out of love.

Every road block, detour or challenge makes us pause and ponder if the person’s

the one.

However we define what “one” is.

People often say that it’s easy to fall out of love. We forget the good in who we chose and instead, seek to see someone’s better.

We forget the person behind the love haze.

When the dust settles, it wipes away the imprint of good memories.

We forget growth, potential, commitment and love.

We don’t strive to choose to love the person we marry.

We are indeed so vulnerable to our own self entitlement.

So this 2017,

I’m committed to:

  1. Not be too scared of Mr Law. The flight response is very real to the slightest shift in dynamics. I’m not gonna be a trigger happy zuji.com girl anymore
  2. To write my gratitudes every single day and never go to bed unhappy or hopeless.
  3. To pray to God everyday to never leave me to myself. To have Him guide and protect us.

I’m praying everyday for the strength, courage and super glue to always fix and choose to stay. Through whatever, InsyAllah.

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P.S Mr Law, if when you read this, can you not be so fierce? I scared!

Musings

The first meow is 1 year old!

Started from the ashes of heartbreak, snot and tears.. I was moping around needing an outlet to vent.. You should have seen me with greasy hair bubbling around the house because of my toe injury. Mannnnnn. I was a sight. Ish, I wouldn’t stand too close, much less date me! Every pore was oozing invisible waves of rancid depression-like-BO. Betul!

I’m glad this site is becoming more and more positive each day! Alhamdulilah 🙂 Happiness is a choice. You can either look at every set back as a stepping stone of which you learn from, or choose to see it as a negative smudge in your life. Your choice. Plus, do you still remember that you have God??! Ahh, pray and ask for guidance, ask for peace of mind. Sure Ok! I promise.

Do I have worries?

Of course!

There’s a tiny thing about how work is stacking up and every notification from my phone might just be an assignment reminder :X

Or how another huge mortgage payment to our house is due in 6 days *gulp*

Or the fact that I’ve not been gymming + indulging waaay too much my body feels lethargic. ISH!

But there are positive things too!

  1. What I’m learning in school now is exactly what I want to do. It’s great to be in company of like-minded minds 🙂  Plus, I got this view from my dorm.
  2. I have a game plan with the mortgage payment. and 6 days is still SIX days. Have faith 🙂
  3. I’ve been expanding exponentially because things have been great! Alhamdulilah. The change in schedule has messed up certain arrangements I had. Aishah, my Secondary School Higher Malay classmate turned Cikgu Melayu herself got married and I had to eat at her event! Geez, how to say no to good Briyani??! I had Briyani 4 times that week Masyallah-sis-are-you-nuts but its soooo worth it.

    Taken by Mr Law 🙂

    Congrats Aishah baby! You looked beautiful and have a blessed marriage!!

I’m heading to the gym now. Nipping the problem right in the butt I say! Toodles!

Why every woman deserves a hardworking husband

We had dinner at MBS after work one day, me and Fazal, and took a walk around the waterfront after. It was one of those lovely clear nights guys, where you just feel intoxicated with all the love you have for life and the company next to you, full from good food and good ju-ju.

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I was giddy with happiness lying down on the wooden steps when I shared with him what I thought was an ideal home situation.

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You know, the whole white picket fence 4 room HDB flat,  fireplace burning  aircon blasting, soft music and candles. Me and him sharing dinner. When the kids come along, there’ll be bedtime stories and lullabies

And Fazal looked at me exactly like this

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 Smirking like a typical baggage laden, snarky, cynical lawyer.

💔

Tragic really.

But more than that, I knew that that was gonna be the start of 1-2 day(s) cold shoulder on his part as he tries to digest what a moron he thinks I am for having such a naive view of the world.

And he probably needs some time and space to come to terms with what I said and whether he still wants to be associated with such vile thoughts. Or something like that. Ya, he’s asshole-y like that.

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I sorta have some leverage when I’m physically in front of him. I guess a little bit of the naivety tugs at his puny heart somewhere in the depths of his gut and he’ll try to tell me with as much patience as he can muster (not much really) where he stands on things.

The dumping debate only happens after I leave. In 3, 2, 1..

That’s why a majority of our arguments happen over texts.

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But I digress.

Anyway, Fazal lamented that women have a long list of wants but cannot take it when their boyfriends/husbands have to go out and work for it.

Essentially,

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Ya. Okay.

But that got me thinking as to why are there so many odes to women, especially those working moms but you don’t hear it about working fathers. And only recently that I realised how much shit a working mom goes through daily and only by having a hardworking husband can the latter balance the scale.

Let me explain.

Last November’s birthday party cum chalet that ibu threw for ayah was the perfect setting for this incredible life lesson.

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These women are my aunts. All 3 of them are professionals  + mums. This is them taking a photo. The eye of the hurricane.

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And behind the scene they are just catering to their families while juggling demanding careers and tiring chores.

Whilst the men..

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It is just not in their mechanism to worry about laundry or what to cook for the family

Men rely on women to be an incredibly strong, impenetrable home front, to grow and nurture their family. For their selflessness and fidelity.

Thus, only when men are hardworking on the career front can he provide sufficient bread and butter to somewhat bring balance to the scales.

So these days, I just tell Fazal that if we get married, “you just come home la ah.. I don’t care what time. And eat every morsel of food I’ve cooked for you”.

Then we can snuggle

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Lullabies and bed time stories?

We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

P.S. In Fazal’s defence

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It’s not much of him purposely trying to be difficult.

It’s just that at 30, he’s unfuckwithable you know?

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And at life’s trajectory, he’s far on the horizon of the beaten path. He know’s what he wants and god knows that the baggage of past relationships tells him exactly what he doesn’t want.Screen Shot 2016-01-18 at 5.31.17 pm

It’s bend or break with him.

The fear of retaliation, contradiction and defamation is real with this one.

And I was the debater who sang High School Musical 😅

Plus, I’m still fumbling in my idealistic corner at the very start of the path, trying to fix the little ouchies. I’m not even enroute, I’m “on the way” Malay version. 

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BUT, in my defence

He has a patience range of a teaspoon guys with a very wide real estate on the fucking pissed department

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He needs a bigger spoon.

Do you guys know where I can buy him a nice big spoon? Industrial size please!