We had dinner at MBS after work one day, me and Fazal, and took a walk around the waterfront after. It was one of those lovely clear nights guys, where you just feel intoxicated with all the love you have for life and the company next to you, full from good food and good ju-ju.
I was giddy with happiness lying down on the wooden steps when I shared with him what I thought was an ideal home situation.
You know, the whole
white picket fence 4 room HDB flat, fireplace burning aircon blasting, soft music and candles. Me and him sharing dinner. When the kids come along, there’ll be bedtime stories and lullabies
And Fazal looked at me exactly like this
Smirking like a typical baggage laden, snarky, cynical lawyer.
But more than that, I knew that that was gonna be the start of 1-2 day(s) cold shoulder on his part as he tries to digest what a moron he thinks I am for having such a naive view of the world.
And he probably needs some time and space to come to terms with what I said and whether he still wants to be associated with such vile thoughts. Or something like that. Ya, he’s asshole-y like that.
I sorta have some leverage when I’m physically in front of him. I guess a little bit of the naivety tugs at his puny heart somewhere in the depths of his gut and he’ll try to tell me with as much patience as he can muster (not much really) where he stands on things.
The dumping debate only happens after I leave. In 3, 2, 1..
That’s why a majority of our arguments happen over texts.
But I digress.
Anyway, Fazal lamented that women have a long list of wants but cannot take it when their boyfriends/husbands have to go out and work for it.
But that got me thinking as to why are there so many odes to women, especially those working moms but you don’t hear it about working fathers. And only recently that I realised how much shit a working mom goes through daily and only by having a hardworking husband can the latter balance the scale.
Let me explain.
Last November’s birthday party cum chalet that ibu threw for ayah was the perfect setting for this incredible life lesson.
These women are my aunts. All 3 of them are professionals + mums. This is them taking a photo. The eye of the hurricane.
And behind the scene they are just catering to their families while juggling demanding careers and tiring chores.
Whilst the men..
It is just not in their mechanism to worry about laundry or what to cook for the family
Men rely on women to be an incredibly strong, impenetrable home front, to grow and nurture their family. For their selflessness and fidelity.
Thus, only when men are hardworking on the career front can he provide sufficient bread and butter to somewhat bring balance to the scales.
So these days, I just tell Fazal that if we get married, “you just come home la ah.. I don’t care what time. And eat every morsel of food I’ve cooked for you”.
Then we can snuggle
Lullabies and bed time stories?
We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
P.S. In Fazal’s defence
It’s not much of him purposely trying to be difficult.
It’s just that at 30, he’s unfuckwithable you know?
And at life’s trajectory, he’s far on the horizon of the beaten path. He know’s what he wants and god knows that the baggage of past relationships tells him exactly what he doesn’t want.
It’s bend or break with him.
The fear of retaliation, contradiction and defamation is real with this one.
And I was the debater who sang High School Musical 😅
Plus, I’m still fumbling in my idealistic corner at the very start of the path, trying to fix the little ouchies. I’m not even enroute, I’m “on the way” Malay version.
BUT, in my defence
He has a patience range of a teaspoon guys with a very wide real estate on the fucking pissed department
He needs a bigger spoon.
Do you guys know where I can buy him a nice big spoon? Industrial size please!