Learning everyday

“You can do it. You don’t have to be nervous. Of course the teachers will be nice. You won’t fail, you did your best! “

I always tell myself before school starts. And I’m the teacher. LOL.

I get jitters when I teach my students. It’s a tricky thing balancing teaching with self directed learning, to impose discipline but still keep a friendly and safe learning environment, how to help students bring out their potential. Lucky for me, I have to worry about things like whether to smile or not to smile, to breathe or not to breathe too. AS IF I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO WORRY ABOUT.

But mostly, I never want to be a complacent teacher.

You know, one of those middle age, middle management teachers that think they know everything because school graders listen to them.

” You mean you don’t know? How caann like dattt. I taught u yesterday. Thinkk, Just tryyy to use your brain. How? Just think la. THIIINNKKK

It’s easy to be lulled into this false sense of complacency when your content knowledge is much much superior then your young charges.

So I decided that I would try my hardest not to be that teacher

By learning something new everyday!

It’s tragic sometimes. Some days I don’t have anything interesting other than being a really attentive student and learn in class.

I learn to observe more when I teach, and just last week, I took everyone out 10 mins earlier just to get them KOI bubble tea. #NOTbecauseIwascravingforsome Well maybe that played a tiiinyyy role but student morale was low and they needed a perk me up. I would have never done that before, but I figured, sometimes my kids need me to bend the rules a little so that I can just listen.

But more than that, I’m learning to push myself to pick up new things!

Like floating yoga

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or not sleeping during ying yoga class. Sometimes I would focus and think about how great I am at meditating, wow this is easy, and then the next think I know, I wake up and it’s all been a dream. HEH.

I picked up body pump and pretty much stopped cheating during the chest and arms exercises, mmm, *most times

A little bit of TRX too but mostly just to swing around.

And I even tried this skipping class that I ended up in tears.

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#nocoordination #meetsgaranginstructor

But I still turned up the next week. And I’m pretty damn proud of myself for turning up. I still sucked, but I turned up.

I learned that I needed space after instructions to try it out, to fail many many many times before getting it. I learned that I’m not flexible but I’m working on it. I learned that I still have no coordination, not working on that one because I’ve accepted that I’m pretty much a klutz on two legs #sisredha.

Images of me scolding my kids when they can’t complete the square or factorise (after teaching them once) would fill my brain and I feel so bad!

I can’t think of anything else than can make me empathise more than putting myself into new and different shoes everyday and making it work.

I learn that I need patient teachers, but I work best with demanding teachers that just pushes me, sort of the same way I approach teaching.

And I learn that not everyone respond the same way so differentiated instructions are important.

I always hope that I never lose this spirit of learning, Insyallah and may this make me a better teacher everyday.




Finding Mr Meow


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Ahmoo and I, we’re just thankful 🙂

If you were to meet me 3-4 years ago, you’d probably not recognise the me now.

Maybe the hardware has not changed much (HAHAHA, tell that to my expanding waistline! But I digress)

Internally, I feel that I’ve gotten through several difficult metamorphosis to get to where I am here, right now.

Years ago, when I lost a dear friend, I questioned a lot of things.

My faith took a hard hit.

Because… how could a healthy (national sports athlete, organic-hippy-tree-hugger-vegan-god-stop-killing-vegetables-already) 21 year old die of cancer? It doesn’t make any sense, incomprehensible, you can’t put two and two and get 10.

Because.. how could I be surrounded amongst nice people, people who worshipped the ground I walked on, and still feel so.. alone.

Because.. why do I need God when I’m young, healthy, happy.

Mr Meow came into my life when the very foundation I stood on was shaking.

And he steadied me. He steadies me.

This rock of a human being, so incredible rooted in his humility and sense of self. He complements my erratic restlessness with a calm disposition I could only helplessly admire. Juxtaposes my insecurities with strong values. This Pulsar riding, Kopitiam coffee drinking, selipar Jepun wearing, kind hearted man has taught me so much, I’m humbled by his presence.

So yes girls, a strong woman can run her life but it takes a stronger one to recognise and embrace help; despite that strong backbone and solid head above her shoulders.

Find someone that comprehends that, and stands still to be your pillar to lean on and perfectly knows that you can just hold on for a little while.

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Thank you for everything.

May you always be in His grace sayang.